Jokes (Quickies)

Drunk loses his wife

A drunk is driving home and his car is weaving all over the road. Eventually a cop pulls him over.
"Did you know," says the cop, "that a few miles back, your wife fell out of your car?"
"Oh, thank heavens," sighs the drunk. "For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf."

The Pirate's Steering Wheel

A pirate walks into a bar and orders a bottle of rum.
The bartender looks at him and says "Do you know that you have a steering wheel in your pants"
The pirate replies "Arrr, I know that and and it's drivin' me nuts"